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Summary of Huberman Lab Podcast Episode: Maya Shankar: Shaping Identity & Goals | Huberman Lab Podcast

Podcast: Huberman Lab
12 min. read

— Description —

Discover the harmful effects of essentialism and how to liberate yourself with self-understanding Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth, even in the face of loss Learn how curiosity and embracing uncertainty can lead to increased well-being and better adaptation to change

Explore the power of framing goals positively and the different types of empathy Gain insights into effective goal setting and maintaining motivation Dont miss out on this compelling content that will help you anchor your identity to your why for a more fulfilling and reliable sense of self.

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Maya Shankar: Shaping Identity & Goals | Huberman Lab Podcast

Table of contents

Key Takeaways

Intro

Identity Foreclosure, Identity Paralysis, Throughlines

Identity & Adolescence; “Essence” & Shame

Maya’s Journey to Juilliard as a Violinist

Re-Creating of Self

Change, Cognitive Closure, End-of-History Illusion

Self-Awareness & Critical Feedback

Tools: Flexible Mindset; Reframing & Venting; Gratitude

Tool: Framing Goals & Agency in Goal Pursuit

Tool: Like-Minded People & Goal Pursuit; Challenging Beliefs

Building Self Narratives: Empathy, Burnout

Tools: Goal Setting, “Middle Problem”, Maintaining Motivation, Peak-End Rule

Key Takeaways

  • Anchor identity to your “why” rather than just “what” you do for a more fulfilling and reliable sense of self
  • Harmful effects of essentialism: viewing oneself through an essentialist lens may lead to feelings of shame when failures or challenges occur, associating them with personal flaws
  • Liberate yourself with “self–understanding”
    • One’s identity isn’t defined by rigid, unalterable traits but by an evolving collection of behaviors, thoughts, and experiences
    • Abandon the concept of fixed essence and embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth
  • Losing a defining element of identity can be devastating but also presents an opportunity for growth
  • Maya had a career-ending injury while playing the violin at 15
    • Because the violin played a significant role in their life, the loss was challenging
  • Curiosity saved her, and that’s when the pivot to cognitive science happened
    • Also, when reading  “The Language Instinct” by Stephen Pinker
  • Embrace uncertainty and open-ended curiosity for increased well-being and better adaptation to change
    • People tend to fear change due to uncertainty, despite uncertainty’s potential to trigger dopamine release
  • The “end of history illusion” makes individuals believe they won’t change in the future as much as they have in the past
  • Small tweaks in framing can lead to significant behavior changes
    • Avoid framing goals based on avoiding negative outcomes (avoidance orientation)
  • Approach orientation vs. avoidance orientation:
    • Approach: frame goals positively and focus on proactive achievements. Example: “I aim to eat healthier foods.”
    • Avoidance: Frame goals in terms of preventing negative outcomes. Example: “I want to steer clear of unhealthy foods.”
  • 3 types of empathy:
    • Emotional empathy: feeling what others feel
      • This one is the most valued
    • Cognitive empathy: accurately diagnosing others’ distress and offering solutions
    • Empathic concern: having the desire to help others
  • High emotional empathy can lead to burnout, especially in healthcare and first responders
  • Goal Setting: 
    • Differentiate between approach goals (pursuing something positive) and avoidant goals (avoiding something negative)
    • Set goals that you personally value and have ownership over (increasing intrinsic motivation)
    • Set goals in the same psychological and physiological state you’ll be in during goal pursuit
    • Build in an emergency reserve or slack to allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism
  • Capitalize on “fresh start” moments, like the start of a new year or new job, to introduce new habits and patterns
  • “Middle Problem” (dip in motivation during the middle phase of goal pursuit):
    • Set shorter-term goals
    • Divide long-term goals into smaller, achievable milestones
  • Maintaining Motivation: 
    • Use temptation bundling by pairing an unpleasant activity with an immediately rewarding and enjoyable activity
    • Maintain the potency of the rewarding activity by only indulging in it when performing the unpleasant task
    • Remember: Set shorter-term goals to avoid a prolonged drop in motivation

Intro

  • Can’t get enough of Andrew Huberman? Check out our member-only collection packed with Huberman’s greatest tips
  • In this episode, Dr. Maya Shankar (@MayaUmaShankar), a cognitive scientist, and former senior advisor to the White House, joins Dr. Andrew Huberman to discuss how identities develop and change, the influence of beliefs on self-perception, and science-based strategies to cope and grow through uncertain situations, redefining goals and identity
    • Check out Maya’s podcast, A Slight Change of Plans
  • Host- Andrew Huberman (@hubermanlab)

Identity Foreclosure, Identity Paralysis, Throughlines

  • Early identity is shaped by what we see around us, what’s deemed successful in society
  • Identity foreclosure: others impose structures, limiting mindset and potential
  • How to embrace your true identity?
    • Don’t anchor identity solely to what you do, as it can make you feel lost during the change
    • Focus on why you do things, the emotional connection, and human interaction
    • Find the core through line connecting your passions, desires, and emotional connections
  • Recommended approach during change:
    • Identify the underlying features of what you loved doing in the past
    • Look for expressions of that core in other areas of life
    • Embrace the relationship between your actions and emotional connections
  • Don’t dispose of identities; they bring meaning and purpose to life
  • Remember: Anchor identity to your “why” rather than just “what” you do for a more fulfilling and reliable sense of self

Identity & Adolescence; “Essence” & Shame

  • Childhood identities:
    • Observe children’s play without assuming future roles
    • Avoid projecting limiting future occupations
  • Adolescent and teen years and questioning identity:
    • Puberty triggers brain changes and a desire for independence
      • Teens want to discover their authentic selves beyond imposed structures
  • What is so harmful about essentialism?
    • Essentialism is the belief that people have inherent, unchangeable qualities that define them
    • Harmful effects of essentialism: viewing oneself through an essentialist lens may lead to feelings of shame when failures or challenges occur, associating them with personal flaws
  • Liberate yourself with “self–understanding”
    • One’s identity isn’t defined by rigid, unalterable traits but by an evolving collection of behaviors, thoughts, and experiences
    • Abandon the concept of fixed essence and embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth
    • A growth-oriented mindset will make you adapt to challenges and view setbacks as opportunities for learning and improvement

Maya’s Journey to Juilliard as a Violinist

  • Maya fell in love with her grandmother’s violin at age six
    • She learned to play by ear and was taught by an inexperienced but supportive teacher
  • Competitive environment at Juilliard:
    • Maya got accepted after attending a summer music camp and training intensely
    • Juilliard had many talented and driven young musicians, which was both inspiring and intimidating
    • Comparing herself to others and her self-criticism affected her joy in playing
  • Importance of intrinsic motivation:
    • Intrinsic motivation and passion are crucial to maintaining joy and progress
    • Focusing on the process, curiosity, and the desire to improve can protect you from external pressures
  • Maya’s deep curiosity and enjoyment in getting better at things are fundamental aspects of her personality
    • These qualities extend beyond her musical pursuits and shape her current life as a cognitive scientist and podcaster

Re-Creating of Self

  • Identity is a crucial aspect of work and life arc
  • Recreating and refining identity in new endeavors is essential
  • Losing a defining element of identity can be devastating but also presents an opportunity for growth
  • Maya had a career-ending injury while playing the violin at 15
    • Because the violin played a significant role in their life, the loss was challenging
    • The injury affected her organic traits, like curiosity, causing disorientation
  • Playing the violin-shaped her body and nervous system
    • The ergonomics of playing the violin left a lasting imprint on her physicality
  • Loss of identity can manifest in physical and emotional ways
    • Coping with loss and grief can make one feel lost and disheartened
    • If you find yourself lost at sea, explore new interests
  • Maya found a turning point when she read “The Language Instinct” by Stephen Pinker
  • The pivot to cognitive science happened when curiosity happened
    • She had to cut ties with the past identity tied to the violin
  • Cognitive science provided a different expression of passion – intellectual curiosity
  • Curiosity is a self-amplifying upward spiral in the pursuit of knowledge
    • Genuine curiosity fuels energy and excitement for the pursuit of knowledge
    • Curiosity is a powerful motivator, and surprises in the pursuit of knowledge can be more exciting than predicted outcomes

Change, Cognitive Closure, End-of-History Illusion

  • Cognitive closure, the need for clear answers, can hinder resilience and well-being in the face of change
  • Embrace uncertainty and open-ended curiosity for increased well-being and better adaptation to change
    • People tend to fear change due to uncertainty, despite uncertainty’s potential to trigger dopamine release
  • The “end of history illusion” makes individuals believe they won’t change in the future as much as they have in the past
  • Emphasize curiosity about yourself and regularly audit your own change experiences to understand how you evolve
  • Change in one area of life can profoundly affect other aspects due to the complexity of human psychology and ecosystems
  • We are often poor cognitive forecasters, struggling to predict how changes will impact us because we forget our dynamic nature

Self-Awareness & Critical Feedback

  • Negative experiences often have salience due to our nervous systems’ instinct to keep us safe
  • Encourage self-reflection by seeking feedback from others, even those with differing opinions
    • Caring about what others think can help us be mindful of our impact on others and make positive changes
  • Feedback is valuable for personal growth and improvement, both in academic and online environments
    • Integrate feedback in a constructive manner, acknowledging that others might have valid perspectives
  • Foster an environment of direct feedback and disagreement to encourage open dialogue and learning

Tools: Flexible Mindset; Reframing & Venting; Gratitude

  • Flexible Mindset:
    • Approach all endeavors with humility and openness
    • Update opinions, belief systems, and strategies based on incoming information
    • Value the ability to update and maintain a dynamic mindset
    • Leadership is a willingness to update, not just strong convictions
      • To learn how to be a great leader, check out these notes
  • Reframing & Venting:
    • Use distancing techniques like thinking about problems from a third-person perspective to gain objectivity
    • Seek critical feedback from friends and embrace honest assessments
    • Encourage friends to challenge your thinking and help you reframe situations
    • Avoid counterproductive venting and instead focus on constructive advice
  • Gratitude:
    • Practice gratitude for positive feedback and experiences
    • Receiving gratitude has positive effects on neural circuitry and neurochemistry
    • Internalize and marinate in positive messages to counteract the natural tendency to overweight negative experiences

Tool: Framing Goals & Agency in Goal Pursuit

  • To internalize a real sense of possibility and change behavior, focus on verb states that invoke action and agency
  • Small tweaks in framing can lead to significant behavior changes
    • Avoid framing goals based on avoiding negative outcomes (avoidance orientation)
  • Approach orientation vs. avoidance orientation:
    • Approach: frame goals positively and focus on proactive achievements. Example: “I aim to eat healthier foods.”
    • Avoidance: Frame goals in terms of preventing negative outcomes. Example: “I want to steer clear of unhealthy foods.”
  • Endowment effect – the power of “earned”:
    • Highlight the sense of ownership and achievement
    • Motivate individuals to take action based on earned benefits Example: “You have earned this benefit through your years of service.”
  • Set your own targets and establish a sense of personal agency
    • Avoid letting others entirely dictate your goals and targets
    • Example: Determine your exercise routine and intensity, based on your preferences and capabilities
  • The desire for control is a natural human inclination
    • Use this desire to your advantage by being in control of your goals
  • As always, prioritize activities that ignite your passion and creativity

Tool: Like-Minded People & Goal Pursuit; Challenging Beliefs

  • Benefits of being in like-minded groups:
    • Motivation and goal achievement
    • Witnessing failure and vulnerability in others can increase resolve
    • Finding support and shared values in the pursuit of goals
  • Dangers of being in like-minded groups:
    • Limiting one’s frame of mind and perspective
    • Beliefs and opinions are strongly influenced by group identity
    • The danger of being trapped in an echo chamber
  • How to challenge like-minded thinking?
    • Use a thought experiment: imagine life in a different context to see the non-precious nature of beliefs
    • Understand how group affiliations shape perception and judgments
    • Learning from Daryl Davis’s approach:
      • Recruiting agency
      • Avoiding questioning humanity
      • Genuine curiosity
    • Ask, “What evidence would change your mind?” to encourage openness to new information

Building Self Narratives: Empathy, Burnout

  • 3 types of empathy:
    • Emotional empathy: feeling what others feel
      • This one is the most valued
    • Cognitive empathy: accurately diagnosing others’ distress and offering solutions
    • Empathic concern: having the desire to help others
  • High emotional empathy can lead to burnout, especially in healthcare and first responders
    • Cultivating cognitive empathy and empathic concern helps against burnout
  • Building self-narratives and empathy:
    • Self-understanding via cognitive empathy leads to self-compassion
    • All ways of expressing empathy are equally valuable
    • Empathy can be experienced in a multitude of ways
    • Being selective about the kind of empathy you invest in

Tools: Goal Setting, “Middle Problem”, Maintaining Motivation, Peak-End Rule

  • Goal Setting: 
    • Differentiate between approach goals (pursuing something positive) and avoidant goals (avoiding something negative)
    • Set goals that you personally value and have ownership over (increasing intrinsic motivation)
    • Set goals in the same psychological and physiological state you’ll be in during goal pursuit for better judgment
    • Build in an emergency reserve or slack to allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism in goal pursuit
    • Capitalize on “fresh start” moments, like the start of a new year or new job, to introduce new habits and patterns
  • Middle Problem: 
    • Acknowledge the dip in motivation during the middle phase of goal pursuit
    • Set shorter-term goals to reduce the length of the middle phase 
    • Divide long-term goals into smaller, achievable milestones
  • Maintaining Motivation: 
    • Use temptation bundling by pairing an unpleasant activity with an immediately rewarding and enjoyable activity
    • Maintain the potency of the rewarding activity by only indulging in it when performing the unpleasant task
    • Remember: Set shorter-term goals to avoid a prolonged drop in motivation
    • Allow for flexibility and avoid perfectionism 
  • Aversion & Memory:
    • Apply the peak-end rule by elongating aversive experiences with slightly less intensity at the end
    • Reinforce positive memories in enjoyable experiences by making the end more intense
    • Consider tailoring the approach based on individual preferences and reactions to experiences

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