Dr. Andrew Huberman, Ph.D. is a Professor of Neurobiology and Ophthalmology at Stanford University School of Medicine. His lab focuses on neural regeneration, neuroplasticity, and brain states such as stress, focus, fear, and optimal performance.
In this episode, Andrew Huberman discusses the science of bonding and how we form attachments, the hormonal basis for connection and our drive to socialize (or not), and how shared experiences promote bonding.
Host: Andrew Huberman (@hubermanlab)
The bonds we make later in life are rooted in the bond we parent-caregiver formed, but there is plasticity in the system we can rewire based on experiences
We have one circuit for all types of social bonds
Social isolation: when animals or humans are restricted from having the types of interactions they would prefer to have
When people are socially isolated they tend to crave dopamine release and may seek it from food since they are not getting it from social interaction
Hallmark features of social isolation are elevated adrenaline, cortisol, tachykinin – all of which can cause aggression and irritability
Social isolation deteriorates the brain and body quickly depending on how introverted or extroverted you are
Like hunger, temperature, and thirst, we have brain circuits responsible for “social homeostasis” which drives us to maintain a certain level of connection
The more time you spend alone, the more you are motivated to seek pictures of faces, interaction with others, conversation, etc.
Social bonding is plastic and fluid to adjust to your role as you move from one social hierarchy to the next (e.g., sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow)
Amygdala is important to maintain healthy bonds and move away from unhealthy bonds
The hypothalamus contains neurons that access the hormone system to release oxytocin
The dorsal raphe nucleus is rich with dopamine and responsible for mediating social homeostasis which makes you crave social interaction if you are lacking the right level for you
Loneliness is not just being alone, it’s the discrepancy between desired and actual levels of interaction
We are all social animals to one extent or another but our desired levels of interactions vary
The prefrontal cortex gives you subjectivity and flexibility over social interactions – for example, deciding to leave a party when someone you don’t like arrives
Prosocial craving: we are used to a certain level of interaction and will move towards it and seek it out if we are not getting what we need (driven by dopamine)
If we are chronically socially isolated, we will become anti-social and more introverted
Many people who appear introverted are actually extroverted but don’t talk much
Definition of an introvert: motivated or satisfied by low levels of social interaction
Definition of an extrovert: someone who gets energy or lift from social interaction
We can’t predict whether someone is an introvert or extrovert based on behavior
If you think of an introvert, you get a lot of dopamine out of a few interactions; if you are an extrovert, you get less dopamine and need more of those interactions to keep you satisfied
Think about people based on how much interaction they need to feel balanced, not how chatty or quiet they are
Early mother-infant attachments involve coordination of right brain and left brain circuits
All needs of an infant are met by a primary caretaker
Two parallel circuits established early in infancy are responsible for setting up bonds
The right brain handles more autonomic forms of bonding (e.g., heart rate, pupil size) versus the left brain which is responsible for more conscious forms of bonding (e.g., reading to your child)
A mother and infant’s right brain system (coordination of breathing, pupil size, temperature) is coordinated and directly linked to oxytocin
The left-brain system gets prediction and reward from more conscious things such as reading to your child at night
Attachment is both rational and emotional
Empathy: there is emotional empathy (feeling what someone else is feeling) and cognitive empathy (seeing and experiencing something the same way)
A trusting social bond in romantic relationships and friendships requires both emotional and cognitive empathy
Oxytocin is released in the brain and binds to receptors throughout the body and is involved in social recognition, orgasm, bonding, honesty, lactation, and letdown of milk, and much more
Interactions that release oxytocin at high levels: contact between individuals that feel closely related & interactions between individuals that have high trust
MDMA releases huge levels of oxytocin and is part of the reason people feel the depth of connection
Within small groups, physiologic reflexes become synchronized
The body and brain are reciprocally connected
It’s not just interaction that creates bonding, it’s shared experience
Themes and traditions anchor our psychology and allow us to synchronize our physiology and act as a bridge to establish social bonds
Synchronize bodily and cognitive states
Identify the routes by which social bonds are created and lean in or pull away from bonds that serve you